This morning began innocuously enough. I arrived early to work, got myself settled, read my morning comic strips. Then I got up to get coffee. And that's when it struck me. In the 10 months I have worked here, there has only been one fixture that has remained unchanged in this building. A styrofoam cup. It rests, solemnly, on it's perch beside the coffee machine, alone and stoic. No one knows why it's there or from whence it came. It sits, unmoving, day after day, like a minuscule white mountain, like the eyes of God, watching over us all as we pour our coffee.
I sat for a while at my desk, contemplating my life through the eyes of a styrofoam cup, when suddenly a woman appeared, as if out of thin air. She smiled at me for a moment before opening her purse with a flourish and brandishing a shiny white egg in my face. What exactly is the expected reaction under those circumstances? I stared at her, immensely confused. She grabbed my hand and placed the egg on my palm, saying "For you. God bless you."
Then she left. Leaving me alone with my egg. It lolled goonishly on my desk while I pondered what purpose it was meant to serve in my life. Was I to eat it? Or maybe I was supposed to sit on it until it hatched, birthing some tiny Easter spirit to accompany me for the rest of my life. My own little talking Disney companion, just like I'd always wanted.
Unfortunately, it turned out to just be a hard boiled egg. Forget prayer, good deeds, and faith, apparently the secret to salvation is a hard boiled egg.
You thought I was kidding, didn't you?
Also today, I ate a gummy worm and one of my fillings cracked in half. From a GUMMY WORM.
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