Confusing Cable With Colons

A man just called the station. He sounded about middle aged, certainly not elderly. The following conversation ensued:

Me: Good afternoon, how can I help you?

Him: Oh wow! You're a real person!

Me: ....yes?

Him: That's great! I was expecting a robot.

Me: Ok...

Him: So you guys air this commercial, well I guess it's a public service announcement really, about colons.

Me: ....colons?

Him: Yea, you know, getting regular colonoscopies once you reach a certain age?

Me: Ok?

Him: Yea, well I was wondering if I could set up an appointment.

Me: ....

Him: I live in south Jersey, is that too far? I know y'all are up in Newton.

Me: ....Sir, you realize you've called a television station, right?

Him: Yea! But you ran that commercial. So can you help me or not?

Me: I don't think so, sir.

Him: Is there anyone there who can help me?

Me: You know what, let me put you through to my manager's voicemail.

She never checks her voicemail but I'm sure the one day she finally decides to she's going to get a good laugh...