Friday, November 25, 2011

An Epic Tale of Victory and Woe

Candi: I just had an epic battle
Kristin: With?
Candi: a spider
Kristin: LOL
Kristin: I see you won
Candi: I'm sitting calmly at my desk
Candi: all of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I see a black blur
Candi: RIGHT NEXT TO MY HAND is a GIANT black spider


Candi: I scream and LEAP out of my chair
Candi: I grab a water bottle and approach it slowly



Candi: I swing the water bottle, it dodges it


Candi: it cowers before me, feinting left, then right 


Candi: I swing again, it makes a run for the back of my desk and the safety of the clutter therein
Candi: I whap at it with the bottle until it runs under a hanging folder
Candi: I scream again in rage and slam the side of the folders with the bottle, causing them to go flying across my desk
Candi: I swing again, miss
Candi: it takes off up and over the side of the desk


Candi: I scream "NO YOU DON'T"
Candi: and whack it back down. 


Candi: it's injured
Candi: but still alive
Candi: it runs behind a box of papers
Candi: I tear the box of papers off my desk and onto the floor
Candi: there's a single sheet of paper in the corner
Candi: I know it's under there
Candi: waiting


Candi: one wrong move and it will make it under my desk, never to be seen again until it decides to crawl on me or bite me
Candi: AND I WILL NOT HAVE IT
Candi: so I run to the supply closet and find a bottle of Lysol
Candi: in one swift motion, I tear the sheet of paper away and stun it with the Lysol
Candi: it rolls around, wiggling its evil legs in agony


Candi: and while it's stunned and helpless, I CRUSH IT WITH THE WATER BOTTLE


Candi: then, panting and laughing, I begin to clean up the mess I made of my desk
Kristin: I feel that my life has now been changed after reading such an epic battle between friend and foe.
Candi: and so you should, for I have emerged victorious
Candi: and laughing at the crushed and broken body of mine enemy
Candi: FOR GLORY!
Candi: FOR VICTORY!
Candi: FOR THE SAFETY OF MY OFFICE SUPPLIES!
Candi: I'm totally making a blog post about this >_>

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