Episode One: Where It All Went Wrong
This is not an introduction. This is a threat. Observe:
Some other gems I've come across in people's opening statements to me:
"I want to walk you like a dog." (...woof?)
"You like that" (With no indication as to what "that" was)
"What do you look like in guys?" (I don't know, I've never worn one before.)
"Hey, you forgot your shoes in my dreams and I'd like to return them." (I actually responded to this one because... really? Really?!)
Stay tuned, there's plenty more to come!


Was that the first point of contact? Maybe an inside joke?
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