Shower Power

Whenever I get out of the shower, I feel compelled to do my Super Candi stance. It makes me feel accomplished. Like I defeated an army of germs.

I cleaned my room. 

It took ten hours. Ten. Hours.

Hello My Ragtime Gal

This morning I made an unfortunate discovery.

Unfortunately the only clean underwear I could find were of the no-rise variety. So I've resigned myself to spending the day wearing basically the equivalent of a garter belt. 

Things were going good though, I'd woken up early, felt refreshed, everything was peachy. Until I tried to leave the house. To my right, against the wall, was an ant so big I swear I saw it blink. It gnashed it's mandibles at me and I dove for the door. That is, until I noticed that waiting for me on the door was a big, hairy spider. Just staring at me. What to do? I needed to lean against either the wall or the door in order to leave (our door opens inward; it's stupid that way). 

So which was it to be? Giant, mutant ant or the hairy incarnation of all that is wrong with the world?

I made the obvious choice and went with the mutant ant. At least that way there was a chance of me garnering some freaky super-power as opposed to just flailing helplessly around my driveway with my underpants around my ankles while the spider tap-danced across my head. 

True story.

Annoying People: THE REVENGE!

I may have a lot of free time at work but that's mainly because I work quickly and efficiently and thus finish things far too early. I like that. It gives me time to do my own thing. What I hate is when I spend four straight hours with my eyes glued to my monitor, not even pausing to pee until I've finished a pile of work, only to sit back and relax when I'm done and have one of my coworkers assume that I'm not doing anything. The following scene took place right after I'd finished a solid 4 hour block of mind-numbing transcription. I was still technically working by watching an outgoing DVD for quality control. It was another sermon. Apparently, this part of my job is unsatisfying to one of my managers.